How much time should a man spend masturbating

Of all the aspects of sex that one could worry about, duration is one factor that concerns a lot of people. This is unsurprising, what with all the media depictions that exist of a person (usually a man) coming “too” quickly during sex, then rolling over and falling asleep, leaving their partner (usually a woman) unsatisfied and unimpressed.

It’s certainly true that sometimes partners will have mismatched expectations about how long sex “should” last, or will have issues putting their various favorite sexual activities into the order that makes the most sense. For example, the progression of events may work better if the person who has a shorter refractory period (i.e. recovery time) after an orgasm – often a woman, though not always – comes first, so that the person whose refractory period is longer won’t derail the entire sex session by coming before their partner is satisfied.

Another workaround for this is for the person with the longer refractory period to only stimulate their partner, and not be stimulated themselves, until both people are ready for sex to end with that person’s orgasm. And regardless of the length of your refractory period, you can always continue stimulating your partner even after you’ve just come, using your hands, mouth, and/or sex toys.

But even setting aside the issue of partnered sex, some people also wonder about duration when it comes to solo sex. Are they taking “too long,” or “not long enough”? Could masturbating “too fast” or “too slow” be affecting them sexually in ways they might not be aware of? Let’s discuss masturbation duration.

Many people learn to get themselves off in a hurry because of experiences they had as a child or teen, when private time may have been harder to come by and the surveillance of parents or guardians may have been difficult to avoid. If, for example, the bathroom was the only place you could really guarantee you’d be left alone, you may have learned to “rub one out” in under five minutes, quietly, so your self-love time would go unnoticed by anyone you lived with.

While this speedy approach was adaptive at the time, it may not be serving you so well now. People who are used to getting off quickly may have a more difficult time lengthening that process for the benefit of a partner, hence some of the premature ejaculation struggles outlined above.

It’s worth noting that rushing through the process of masturbation may result in denying oneself pleasure. Masturbation isn’t only about the quick relief of tension that an orgasm provides. For many individuals, it’s an enjoyable journey of experiencing the peaks and valleys of pleasure leading up to climax. The stretch of time leading to orgasm can be pleasurable in itself and may lead to a more intense climax.

For individuals who tend to masturbate quickly, they can challenge themselves with “edging.” This involves getting close to orgasm and then backing off, repeating the process as desired. Choosing a particular duration in advance, such as a few minutes, or putting on a porn clip that correlates to the duration can also make the process more enjoyable. By going slower, one can notice how it affects their overall pleasure and eventual orgasm. For those who enjoy edging or want to improve their ability to postpone climax, making it a regular part of their routine is recommended.

Although masturbating slowly can give a more luxuriant and relaxing feel as opposed to feeling rushed or frantic, it’s not always practical. Those who enjoy quickies may find it harder to incorporate when accustomed to longer sessions, but they have the option of practicing quicker masturbation to fit into their busy schedules. Additionally, those who take longer than their partners to climax during partnered sex can practice coming faster during masturbation to make the transition easier.

Lengthening the duration of masturbation may be easier than quickening it, as some individuals take longer to climax and cannot change that. However, adding sex toys to one’s routine, such as a vibrator or stroker, can be helpful in achieving climax sooner. Ultimately, pleasure is the goal of solo sex, and one should enjoy it as they please.

In conclusion, there are practical and trivial reasons to change the duration of masturbation sessions. But as long as one is enjoying themselves and everything is safe and consensual, it doesn’t matter how long or short the session lasts. Savoring the moment is what’s essential.